Stressed about finding the right Valentine’s Day gift? Start with these four helpful hints that will remind your wife how much you love her.

Valentine’s Day can be intimidating. Trying to find the right gift for your wife isn’t easy. And online searches for Valentine’s Day gifts can make things even tougher. It’s not because we’re clueless, but because there’s just no way to outdo the guys on YouTube who make videos about the exquisite Valentine’s Day gifts they’ve created and then find extreme ways to present them.

While we want to lavish that kind of love on our wives, it’s discouraging to feel like we’ll never measure up to “those guys.” The good news is we don’t have to. If you’re looking to pick the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for your wife, start with these four ideas.

  • Learn your wife’s love language.
    Dr. Gary Chapman is a marriage counsellor and author of The Five Love Languages. He’s come up with a way that helps you understand how your wife “hears” love. The five languages include words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. Which category best fits your wife? If you don’t know, ask. And then think about a Valentine’s gift that says “I love you” in her love language.

  • Simple is good.
    Your Valentine’s Day gift can be something simple, but a step up from the everyday gift. If your wife likes chocolates, go one step up and get the fine Valentines’ Day chocolates.

  • Don’t try to outdo the guys on YouTube.
    While your wife wouldn’t mind a Valentine’s Day gift like a ring or a room full of roses, what she really wants is to be treated like the woman in the video: someone who is loved and valued. She wants to know that she’s special. That’s something you can do. And it doesn’t require any cameras.

  • Listen.
    Give her your undivided attention and really listen to what she’s saying. Your wife wants to know that you find her worth your time and attention. That she’s a valuable part of your life. You show her how much she means to you when you take the time to listen. Who knows, she might just be telling you what kind of Valentine’s Day gift she’d like.

There’s no magic formula to help you find the right Valentine’s Day gift. Your wife may like flowers and chocolates … or she may want to take a walk in the park. Don’t stress about the size of the gift or the cost. That’s not what matters. Before you shop for a Valentine’s Day gift, take time to review the four things you need to know and then take time to do something a little extra, to listen and remind your wife she’s loved and valued.

© 2020 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. Used with permission. Originally published on

Bill Arbuckle

Bill Arbuckle is a content producer for the Marriage team at Focus on the Family.

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